reflections on creativity and the art of living

Show me the love

We human beings have a tremendous capacity for love. The first woman I ever loved was (of course) my mother. She was the best cook, the most beautiful female on the planet, and had the sweetest disposition of anyone in my young childhood world.  She was also quite strict. Those were the days when parents spanked their unruly kids. Momma carried a thin dog leash in her purse. If we started acting up, she’d extract about 4 inches of it and just show it to us. Without a word we all got the message. She did that because she loved us and we never doubted that love.

Through high school and into my early twenties I dated a few girls. Sure there was an attraction there. But biology is not the same thing as love. Love exists. When I met Nancy, a prototypical hippie chick back @1972, I entered into another dimension of love. First time I saw her she had on bell-bottom jeans, an embroidered peasant blouse and hippie beads. A true flower child that girl, and I was smitten. Nearly 40 years later and we are still together. A lot of folks would not have bet on that, but here we are. I learned this, when I began to love Nancy, I didn’t stop loving Mama nor did I love her less. There was a whole dimension of love waiting for me to explore and enjoy. We humans have a tremendous capacity for love.

Later the third great woman of my life appeared. Small package back then. When our daughter Sarah came along, I found a new world of love open up to me: Father/daughter, parent and child. I didn’t have to stop loving Momma or Nancy; didn’t love them any less. My heart just expanded. If you are open to it, you will find that you have an amazing ability to love and to be loved.

In the last few years Nancy and I have experienced love in a whole dimension; grandparent love. Wow! The youngest is baby Sophia Grace, 15 months old as of this writing. (My grandchildren inspired my most recent series of paintings, “as a little child”.)

I believe that all human beings possess the ability to love and that they can do so on many levels. Most folks love somebody or some thing. Have you heard the saying, “give yourself to what you love and you will never work a day in your life”? Not exactly true, as anyone who spent 4 hours babysitting my 2 grandsons “Earthquake” and “Hurricane” could attest. Truth is, loving takes a lot of work, skill and patience. The fact that you love someone or some thing does not mean that you will not sweat, fret or at times regret it.

What love does however is provide motivation, indeed the highest motivation. You have heard of the carrot and the stick. Friend, that’s kid’s stuff. No one can access the highest dimensions of his/her creative self merely from a motivation of ambition or fear. You can disagree with me, but I have seen too many people do for love what no one could ever threaten or pay them to do. Your greatest work, your best work flows from an inner place deep within you. It casts out fear and presses forward. It shows up for work. It finds its way from your heart to your head and hands with love.

Your best work flows out of love. What love? It might be content oriented: a special place, a mountain stream or urban sidewalk; it might be people who inspire you. You love may not be so much content based as much as a fascination with a technique or medium that drives you to push the boundaries and overcome the technical challenges. It might be the love of an ideal or the horror of an injustice (Picasso’s Guernica comes to mind) that generates that extra little bit of genius. If it is good, the love is there.

Have you ever seen a work devoid of love? Passionless art is like sex without love. Clever, somewhat stimulating maybe, technically correct possibly; but in the end it leaves you feeling hollow and somehow taken advantage of. As a viewer I ask you, please; show me the love.

Finally, love is not an emotion that hits you like a lightening bolt and then is gone. Love is a decision. Love is the single mom who gets up at 06:00 AM and gets the kids ready for school, works a full day, buys groceries, cooks supper and still has time to help them with their homework. Love is a commitment to something bigger and better that drives you to endure misery for a season.

When I was in the Army at Fort Gordon, Georgia in 1971 we had a guy in our company who before being drafted had played center for the Washington Redskins. After a long day of training and hikes and the hot Georgia sun, when the rest of us were totally exhausted, he put on his running shorts and ran laps around the parade field. He loved football and the NFL. After his military service he went on to play for the New Orleans Saints. Love for the game drove him. Your best work flows out of love.

Of course, it goes without saying, work smart. Learn the craft. Be a pro. Show up for work. All of that is true, but that is not all the truth. Momma taught me this, “son, lead with the heart”.  Remember, you have an amazing capacity for love.

Show me the love.